There's No Shame in Cake for Breakfast

Yellow taxis are constantly whizzing down Madison ave and tourists crowd the nearby empire state building with their oversized Nikons. I've been tossed into the daily grind of the 6 train and too many cups of coffee, and although I am physically exhausted from just trying to get by, I really do love this place. Everyday when I wake up and step onto the dirty pavement I am reminded why I'm here. This is my first taste of true independence, but its as sweet as the leftover birthday cake my roommate and I had for breakfast the other day...just because we could. And that's exactly how I want to live! I don't mean that I want to have birthday cake for every meal. Neither my hips or dentist would appreciate that feat. I simply want to do things just because I can, and being back here in NY is a start.
This isn't to say that freedom doesn't come without a price tag. There are many luxuries of a real home that I miss, but this city capitalizes on all of them. Need a home cooked meal? Big daddy's cafe and 310 other restaurants in Murray hill deliver. Miss handing over those dirty clothes to mom? Lei's laundry will pick up, wash, dry, and press your laundry for 75 cents a pound. Now, if only I could pay someone to assemble this night dresser that came with more pieces than Jennifer Aniston's heart. Come to think of it, I probably could. Manhattan, thanks for making it too easy to fake this independence thing.

I don't consider myself a conformist. My general stubbornness has prompted rebellion from time to time and it's something I've had to learn to control. Its not that I enjoy a reaction or going against the grain, but I never appreciated the roadmap drawn out for me and I sometimes get carried away in the idea of creating my own path. I started asking myself the question a long time a go: Am I doing this because I want to, or because someone else doesn't want me to? The answer has become my guideline for decision making, and after much consideration I've determined that I am here only because I want to be,. That should be reason enough. This is not easily understood by others. An exchange between two Yorkers will never fail to produce the question: What do you do in the city? My answer: Freelance bartender, bookstore clerk, fitness instructor, and general adventure seeker.

This response doesn't seem to satisy and I can usually tell by the glazed over looks and confused nods.
I'm a firm believer in just going for it! Right now I'm enjoying the possibilities that come with pursuing my dreams and the unknown. I wish everyone could accept my hazy vision of my life without hesitation, but I understand that there are certain patterns of thought that can't just be dissolved. Accepting this notion is part of being at peace.